Time for a diet rebellion. Low-cal hay has got to go! Low-cal hay has got to go! Low-cal hay has...

A painstaking search throughout my stall has only revealed low-cal hay. How will I live?

{RING} {RING} {RING} Hello, 911 what's your emergency? I say "I'm starving!" 911 operator says: "Sir, you're starving!?? Why don't you eat something?" I say "Because I've been forced to go on a diet!" They say: "Sir, do you need assistance? This is 911 you're calling not Weight Watchers?"

I say, "Yes, I need assistance. I need someone to come over here and take away all this low-cal hay and replace with something edible!"

They say, "Sir, hay? Low-cal hay? Sir...this is 911?! {CLICK}

I say, "Helluu? 911?"