Dieting...I feel like my cheeks are sunken in from lack of food. I'm on my knees crawling to the next sprig of hay sticking out of a bleak landscape of no food...

The Other visits the barn and I hear a resounding "Shaddap you!" from inside the barn as my parched lips grasp the last piece of hay for miles.

Human says: Oh for God's sake. Quit the Lawrence of Arabia desert scene crap. I put a bale of hay out this morning for two horses